November 22, 2009

Torn And Doing The Right Thing Sucks

I've got a bit of a problem.
Well, it's not really a problem, because the answer is obvious.
But somehow it keeps bothering me and messing with my head.
I'll explain the situation, so you get what I'm talking about.

It all started last week when I went to a party of a friend of mine.
My friend, L., is one of the few people I allready knew here in Hamburg.
Our family's go on holiday together and that's how we met.
Anyway, it was his birthday last Sunday, so offcourse I went.
I didn't know anyone there, so it seemed like a great way to get to know some more people here.
At first it was a little awkward. The party itself was more of a get together with some of L.'s friends, so at least it had a relaxed vibe.
After a while I got to talk with A., a nice girl, who was also a little bit of a stranger there.
I was getting more comfortable and everyone was really nice and cool.
Especially S., the one guy who wasn't shy and actually showed interest in me.
I dont't mean in a obviously flirty kind of way, but his brother has a Dutch girlfriend, so he was really interested in the Netherlands.
Anyway, he was fun and he wanted to send me a clip of him and L. singing together on a show. So I gave him my e-mail. 
It was all very casual, but I did feel a kind of spark between us.

On monday he added me on facebook and we talked some more. 
Now you have to understand that this is not leading to him being creepy or anything.
I'm just trying to explain how S. is really nice, funny and charming and kind of cute.
A little short, but then again I'm not tall, and half turkisch. He lookes more like half Italian though, which is way more my type.
Either way, we chatted a little and I promissed I'd go out with L., S. and their friends on Friday.

To fully understand this all, I have to explain, why my friendship with L. can be a little awkward from time to time. You see, there are two people I know from holiday who live here in Hamburg: L. and S. (another S, this one's a girl)
And L. and S. used to be best friends but haven't been speaking to each other in over two years.
Which can be very awkward for their mutual friends, including me.

This ment I wasn't planning on telling her about the party or going out with L.
Not to hide it, but because she wouldn't want to know.

Now two weeks ago I went out with S. and her friend F., who I had met before and we had a lot of fun. F. had recently been dumped by her boyfriend and not really happy. Understandably.
She didn't want to talk about it, so I didn't know who it was, how long they had been together and how bad it was for her.
Turnes out, kind of valuable information.

So, this Friday I got a text from L., saying he couldn's come because he had to babysit his little brother. But he gave me S.'s phonenumber so maybe I could go with him. 
S. was happy to hear from me and invited me to tag along with him and two friends.
It was a bit of wierd night, but I had fun just being out.
We talked and danced and he was nice, charming and a little flirty, but didn't try to pick me up or anything.
He's a great guy, very entertaining and sweet and I kind of like him.
I definitly felt drawn to him.
At the end of the night, we were all walking home, he asked me who I knew around here.
So I said, L., S. and F.
'Oh right', he said, 'F. is my ex-girlfriend'.

At that point I still had hope, because he said it so casually, that I wans't sure he ment a recent ex-girlfriend. He could have ment somewhere in the past.

Yesterday I wnet to the big birthday party of S.'s mother. I didn't tell her about Friday, this time because I was also feeling uncomfortable about the ex-girlfriend thing. F. was there and at the end of the night I finally asked her who of the guys at L.'s party was her ex. 
Turnes out, obviously with my luck, it is S.

Now I'm in a very sucky situation. I'm no way going to do anything about my attraction towards S., because that would just be wrong and i don't want to hurt F. 
But on the other hand, I can't stop thinking about him. 
I've only just met him and it's not a big deal to let him go, but I'm not entirely happy about it.
Well, at least I know I'm doing the right thing. And you never know, maybe she'll get over it in rocket speed. And I mean, it's not like I want anything serious, I just want to have a little fun.



(Kings of Leon - I Want You)

2 comments:

  1. From what I understand F is a friend of S which makes her a friend of a friend right? I think it would be ok to have some fun with her ex as long as you're discreet and don't rub it in..

    x

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  2. yeah you're right, she is a friend of a friend.
    but she's also one of the few people I know around here, so I don't want to screw that up.
    well, I guess I'll just see what happends next...

    ReplyDelete